


Don't Look Over Your Shoulder

by Heichous_Poncho



Series: Tumblr Drabbles/Ficlets [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Death God AU, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Owns a Cat, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, M/M, Mythology - Freeform, Near Death Experiences, POV First Person, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Paranoia, Paranoid Levi, Rated for Levi's Language, Reapers, Snk MiniBang, gratuitous use of "fuck", several - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-07 08:15:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7707604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heichous_Poncho/pseuds/Heichous_Poncho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>July 25, 2016</em>
</p><p> </p><p>  <em>I don't know what fucking ASSHOLE in the sky decided to just shit fucking BRICKS on my life. If I ever meet them, I will shove my foot so far up their ass that I can wear them LIKE A BOOT because I am SICK of seeing this gorgeous blue and green eyed DICK with brown hair slicked back on his STUPID head and wearing that goddamn white tux that makes his ass look so fucking divine... Wait no, I'm SICK of seeing him FOLLOWING ME EVERYWHERE and then ALMOST DYING RIGHT AFTERWORDS. I can't tell anyone about him anymore because they all think I'm crazy and paranoid since they can't see him. I AM NOT CRAZY. I AM NOT PARANOID. I KNOW THE ASSHOLE IS THERE, WATCHING ME. But just in case I do die to this lunatic, I'm going to keep this journal and write down everything in here...</em></p><p> </p><p>(Basically, humans only see ridiculously well-dressed individuals with glowing eyes following them right before they are to die. These individuals are Reapers, waiting to help cross those souls over. First time Reaper, Eren Jaeger, happens to land an attractive anomaly named Levi who can see Eren following him but manages to live through every attempt Fate puts on his life.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Three Wishes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4406297) by [Heichous_Poncho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heichous_Poncho/pseuds/Heichous_Poncho). 



> written for the 2016 SNK mini-bang! This idea is just a little drabble that i had. Hopefully you'll like it~  
> Also, there ARE errors and typos in this fic. They are there on purpose to make this story seem more realistic. Please do not call me out on them.

Chapter 1

May 17, 2015

I can’t believe I’m actually doing this right now but the Internet tells me it’s good for your feelings and shit. I call BS but I dunno, maybe this will make into a good book or something down the line. Ha, watch me get rich of my boring as fuck life. Anyway, introductions are probably in order; my name’s Levi Ackerman. I live in New York City and I own a tea shop in Times Square. The little thing is my pride and joy… I have two friends who help me run it, Farlon and Isabel. Those two are great and we’ve been friends for a while. Isabel had the weirdest fucking name for it and because of a horrible drunken bet, I was forced to name my shop Titan’s Tea. She probably was dropped on her head as a baby multiple times because I have not met anyone with a weirder imagination.

So, yeah. That’s just about it. I dunno when I’m gonna write in this thing to be honest. I tend to forget about these journals because ( ~~nothing remotely interesting happens to me)~~ I’m a busy guy.

-Levi

 

May 27, 2015

I’m in the hospital and my heart still feels like it’s about to beat out of my chest and into the Hudson. I left my shop for lunch today, right? Went to Chipotle, bought a bowl, and was walking back. Same thing I do every fucking day. I was going past the One Times Square building and I guess they were changing the ball or doing _something_ up there. Whatever it was, there was a large crowd gathered to watch. So I was just minding my business and then I hear screams and loud shouting. I look up, and guess what? _I see the fucking New Year’s ball plummeting straight down on top of me!_ I jumped back and tripped, falling and regrettably dropping my lunch. Then the thing slams into cement and breaks, sending its shrapnel straight to me. I managed to cover my face so it wasn’t harmed but my leg got fucked. Which is why I’m in the hospital. Doc said I literally just avoided surgery on it but they’re keeping me overnight just in case. I’ve never been so close to death before it’s a weird

 

May 28, 2015

I fell asleep yesterday. Sorry. Must’ve been those pain meds. Apparently, I’m on TV because of this, or at least that’s what Isabel told me. Farlon says we’re getting a new stream of customers too as a bright side. Maybe this accident wasn’t all that bad. Still though, I can’t stop thinking about it. If I was just one second late in looking up… If I ignored the other people like I normally do… I would’ve died. That thing would have killed me and I’d just be gone…forever. I just shuddered thinking about the possibility. I do not want that to happen, no thank you. I have friends and a tea shop waiting for me.

-Levi

 

May 29, 2015

I’m out of the hospital. I’m only kind of glad though, even though it was filled with sick people, it was really clean. The tea was absolute shit though. Guess I’m really glad then; I dodged a bullet there. Or maybe a ball. Ha, I’m funny.

-Levi

 

June 10, 2015

I had another run in with Death today. The bus almost made me into a pancake and to top that off, the fucking bus driver had the audacity to claim he couldn’t see me. I was right in front of the fucking thing. I call bullshit; in fact, if I had my head up my ass and a bottomless pit of money, I’d sue. But I have nothing but the cash my tea shop generates so yeah, that’s a stupid ass decision. Also, I don’t have my head up my ass. I wish I had someone’s though; I could go for a good fuck.

-Levi

 

June 20, 2015

You know, I’m genuinely surprised that I keep writing in this. Maybe the Internet was right about it helping calm your shit. Then again, I happen to notice that every time I _do_ write in here, it’s because I almost died. Now is no exception either, even at 3 in the fucking morning. I went to a club last night, or this morning really, with Farlon as my wingman. I was looking to bring someone home, fuck around, and knockout. So around 2, I headed to the bathroom to take a leak and as I was washing hands, I look up and see this guy in the mirror, who looks way too dressed up to be in a shitty nightclub without ulterior motives,. Like, the guy was in a full white tux, complete with white shoes and teal bowtie with really messy looking brown hair. On second thought, it actually looked more like sex hair. Maybe he got a quickie in a stall; I know someone was. The weirdest part were his eyes though; I swear they were the brightest Caribbean blue I’ve ever seen. It was like they were _glowing._ Anyway though, so I look away from him in the mirror to get a paper towel and dry my hands. It was only for a goddamn second, I swear! When I looked back, he was gone. I know the bastard didn’t leave, I was at the sink by the door. I don’t know what you call that shit other than weird but that happened.

But wait, there’s more. Remember how I said I almost died? Yeah well skipping to the fun part, I turned to leave the bathroom and when I opened the door, there’s this big ass fire filling the club. I couldn’t see or hear anyone but it wasn’t like I was going to try and save them; one too many near-death experiences made me keen to stay away from “heroic” acts. I tried to stumble out but the fire was pretty intense and _everywhere._ I couldn’t leave the burning club nor find at least a window for air, seeing as the smoke was starting to get to me. I don’t remember much after that really, I woke up on an ambulance stretcher briefly then passed out again. Farlon said I worried him when he lost sight of me and the fire happened to break out. They don’t know what started the fire but apparently I was the only one stuck in the building. What the fuck?

-Levi

 

June 27, 2015

I swear, never again. Nile’s Pizza will never again cross the threshold of my abode. It is dead to me, just like how I am almost dead from the fucking food poisoning. Ugh, such _assholes._ But you know who’s a bigger asshole? _The fucking rich guy from the club. I saw him yesterday as I paid the delivery guy, leaning against a taxi in his white suit and teal tie and glowing blue eyes. What the fuck?_

-Levi

 

July 1, 2015

Alright, I think someone is out to get me. A normal person should not be having near-death experiences this much. I don’t know what his fucking issue is with me, I’ve never seen him before in my life. And by him, I don’t mean God though I don’t know why he has decided to shit on me either. I mean the suit guy. I saw him again this morning as I was running through Central Park like I do every other day, this time at the fountain. ~~Even though this time it was almost my fault~~ , I got distracted and ran off the path and some shit head decided to place a bear trap (again what the fuck?) right where my left foot steps down.

And it’s not a near-death experience unless there’s blood, right? (Yes.) The fucking thing cuts an artery in my ankle and suddenly, there is blood fucking everywhere. I didn’t want to try pulling the trap out because then there’d be more blood so I just sat on my ass and called 911 for _another_ time. Meanwhile, the bright eyed dick had oh so conveniently disappeared.

-Levi

 

July 3, 2015

Farlon and Isabel are getting worried about me. I’m just glad that they finally are seeing that someone is out to get me.

-Levi

 

July 4, 2015

Today’s near-death experience was patriotic fireworks with a side of Bright Eyed Dick! Fuck my life.

-Levi

 

July 27, 2015

I got in a car crash a two weeks ago. My head went through the windshield and I have a pretty bad concussion hence why I didn’t write in here. I swear though, I saw him again. In a Lamborghini behind me. I don’t understand why someone with so much money would go after _me?_ Like go play golf and be pretentious away from me, thanks.  I’m still in the hospital but Farlon and Isabel have been staying with me. I’m going to sleep.

-Levi

 

August 5, 2015

I’ve been discharged and I don’t care what anyone else says, I’m becoming a hermit. I’ll eat the food from my shop and just stay inside. Bright Eyed Dick is out for me, yet no one seems to believe my story, even Farlon. I can tell that he and Isabel are “believing” it to try to calm me down but I see right through their bullshit attempts. I may be marked for death but I’m not an idiot.

-Levi

 

August 26, 2015

I successfully have not had an attempt at my life for 21 days. Not going to lie, I’m more stressed out because of it. I feel like it’s going to happen every time I turn a corner. **Fuck my life.**

-Levi

 

August 27, 2015

The one fucking time I leave my apartment. _The one fucking time. _Walk out to get the mail because Farlon and Isabel have refused to bring it to me in their feeble attempts at getting me to come outside. I walk outside, gather the mail, and begin to walk back to my apartment door and _of course_ some prick just has to drive onto the sidewalk.

I am now nursing a broken leg and I hate **everything**.

-Levi

 

September 2, 2015

I snapped today. I thought I saw Bright Eyes in my shop, so I yelled at him to leave me the hell alone and get the fuck out of my shop.

It wasn’t Bright Eyes, just a groomsman of a nearby wedding. He left without paying. Fucking asshole.

-Levi

 

September 6, 2015

Isabel and Farlon say I seem a bit tense. Gee, I wonder why.

-Levi

 

September 8, 2015  

The shop got robbed last night. The fuckers destroyed everything and stabbed me when I went down to investigate the noise. I’m in the hospital (my second fucking home at this point) and I think I may have to close Titan’s Tea. I can’t pay to replace everything with all these hospital bills.

-Levi

 

September 17, 2015

The best thing in my life is now shut down.

-Levi

 

September 24, 2015

I think I’m going to move. I can’t pay rent, even with the two jobs I’m working. Being out of the city will be good. Less chances at death I suppose. I found a townhouse that’s pretty cheap in a nearby suburb, Trost. It’s in Pennsylvania so maybe not too close to New York but that’s okay. If Farlon and Isabel want to visit, it’s only like 2 hours away. Besides, maybe if I move, it’ll throw Bright Eyes off.

-Levi

 

October 3, 2015

It is Halloween season. I almost got out the pumpkin spice stuff but then I remembered, I don’t have a shop anymore. I’m moving at the end of the month so I plan to enjoy this one thoroughly.

-Levi

 

October 5, 2015

Y THE FUCK IS THE WORLD OUT 2 KILL MEEEEE?! I NEVER DONE NOTHING WRONG IN MY LIFE EXCEPTBEADICKAND AN ASSHOLE TO EVERY1 WHEN IM PISSED OFF. STILL THO,    THEY DON’T FUCKING WARRANT THIS. WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME??????FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK              FUCK FUCK FUCK     FUCK FUCK

 FUCK     FUCK        

FU  CK

 

                   F               C

 

October 6, 2015

So…

I’m sober now but I think the last entry sums up my inner feelings pretty well. I am also thinking of getting a cat; even I admit it, I need company to stop whatever happened last night from happening again.

-Levi

 

October 14, 2015

I got a cat. It’s actually really cute. His name is Danchou and he’s a brown tabby. He’s a fairly large cat and has taken to sitting on my shoulder when I’m making dinner or typing up reports. Thankfully he’s not an outdoor cat, so he just stays in the apartment and explores. Now I just need lint rollers; the thing sheds an entire coat like every fucking hour.

In other deathly news, my toaster caught fire. I’ve started to keep the fire extinguisher on the counter since this is the third fire this week. Bright Eyes is going to have to do better than that ~~(although, I haven’t seen him so it just be my bad toasting skills)~~ ; at this point any kid in a half-assed Halloween costume could have done better. If I’m going to die by his jewelry-ladened hand, it had better be in a flashy, news worthy way dammit.

-Levi

 

October 25, 2015

There are some days I am really glad I’m moving out of the city but then there are some I get a little sad. Today is not one of those days. Get me the fuck out of here as soon as possible. Living in NYC means that there is perpetual construction at least _somewhere._ Which brings me to today’s nearest death encounter.

So, I was doing my day job (delivering flowers) to this person’s house and I used Siri to give me directions to the client’s house. For the most part, I trust Siri so when she tells me that this is the fastest route, I believe her. And just my fucking luck (which fucking sucks), this street has construction going on my side but a sidewalk shed on the right. I decided to cross the street and duck under the sidewalk shed. This was the worst fucking decision I could have made.

I’m walking and I’m almost at the end. It’s literally an arm length or two away from me. But some fucking inclination forces me to turn my head and I find those Caribbean blue eyes AGAIN staring me down as he sits on a black Ecosse Superbike waiting for the light to turn green. I’m pretty sure my mouth dropped open but not because of his leather jacket that tightened around his arms when he flexed them or his skinny white jeans that honestly **really** do his ass justice… Wait I derailed. I meant that my jaw dropped open because of that bike. I’m been saving money for a bike like that my whole life but I know I’ll never afford it, even when I’m 70. Hell that money is probably going to become my retirement fund.

But getting back to the point, I saw Bright Eyes and he grins and then I hear creaking. The fucking shed is breaking over my head. A few metal sheets start dropping behind me so I clutched the flower (if I lost another one due to accidents, my boss made it clear I didn’t have to come back) and I fucking ran. Of course, a pole drops down and nicks right above my eyebrow and a wooden board that falls behind me catches my ankle. Even though the wounds aren’t deep or anything, they still start bleeding like a bitch. I’m used to this so I take out a few first aid supplies I have to keep in my pocket and treat my injuries. People were staring in shock; I’m not sure if it was at the accident or the way I handled it. I don’t really care. At least I didn’t get my uniform dirty.

-Levi

 

October 27, 2015

WHY THE FUCK ARE HEDGE TRIMMERS A THING?? MY LIFE JUST FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES. I WAS IN CENTRAL PARK, JOGGING LIKE I DO EVERY OTHER DAMN MORNING AND THERE’S THIS GUY TRIMMING A HEDGE. I KEEP JOGGING LIKE THERE ISN’T ANYTHING STRANGE GOING ON AND THEN BRIGHT EYES IS THERE, STANDING IN LINE FOR ICE CREAM, WATCHING ME PER FUCKING USUAL. THEN THERE’S A SNAP AND A CRY OF WARNING BEFORE I TURN MY HEAD AND _A BELT OF LITTLE SHARP BLADES GRAZES JUST PAST MY THROAT!!!_

I DIDN’T STAY. I BOLTED OUT OF THERE LIKE AN OLYMPIC SPRINTER AND GOT MY ASS INTO A SHOWER. I’m still shaking and the adrenaline has not worn off yet. This was entirely way too close. _Wayyyy to close._

-Levi

 

October 31, 2015

I think Bright Eyes might be reading this journal because he just showed up in my fucking apartment in the microwave door’s reflection and then my oven burst into flames. He definitely did better. On the other hand, I suffered burns to my chest and leg but thankfully they weren’t that severe. I am **extremely** glad to be moving tomorrow because I don’t know what could happen if Bright Eyes starts appearing in my house. I’d probably lose whatever sanity I have left. Ugh, I hate him. Bright Eyes is an asshole ~~with a cute ass~~ that the universe sent to torture me I think. He’ll be the death of me, no pun included.

Danchou got freaked out by the fire and won’t come out from under my bed. My Halloween festivities with Farlon and Isabel had to wait until we could coax him out. He’s even cuter when he’s scared, I’ve realized. I love my cat, hahaha.

-Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live off comments and kudos~


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

November 3, 2015

Pennsylvania is now my bitch.

-Levi

 

November 10, 2015

I got a new job as a mailman. Neato.

-Levi

 

November 15, 2015

Farlon and Isabel are going to visit soon. So far, I have not had an accident since I moved. I am getting nervous again but having Danchou makes it a bit easier. When I start acting up, he comes and flops on my head. Sometimes I wonder how the hell he can get up there, I mean it’s quite a feat to reach that high. He is adorable.

-Levi

 

November 20, 2015

It’s so fucking cold here. It’s so cold and I still have to deliver packages. Why can’t people just get off their asses and go to the mall to buy their Chirstmas gifts? I don’t appreciate having to freeze my balls off for money.

I bought Danchou a sweater; the smug prick has me wrapped around his paw. Also, I think it’s gonna snow soon. I should go buy some salt for my ~~tiny~~ driveway.

-Levi

 

November 25, 2015

New record for being safe: 25 days. Hopefully Bright Eyes took a hint and fucked off. Also, I have regrettably made work friends. Their names are Hanji and Erwin. Hanji is a leech. Erwin is a more or less a majestic owl.

On a plus side, I found this lot near one of my client’s house (I got a temporary night job as a pet sitter. Danchou likes it) that looks good for a shop. You know what kind of shop? My shop. Titan’s Tea is back, bitches.

I have a feeling that they are going to grow on me though. Kind of like Danchou…who is climbing my fucKING DRAPES! SHIT!

-Levi

 

November 26, 2015

Another day, another record. I’m a survivor of a lunatic. And I think I may do some voice entries soon. Maybe. I don’t know how I feel about talking aloud to myself. I’d rather keep doing what I am currently doing. Oh and, I am looking for a new job because it snowed yesterday and I will not deliver mail in fuck-you-and-your-balls weather. At least today I had the day off. It’s also Thanksgiving, so… It’s a stupid holiday in my opinion but I do like pumpkin pie and I love mashed potatoes more than is probably socially acceptable.

Hanji and Erwin decided to grace me with their presence and food so I guess the day wasn’t that bad. At least I wasn’t alone.

I am going to board up my windows tonight to keep out any rabid Black Friday shoppers. Petra, my neighbor, told me people here go fucking insane over this shit. I usually like to go shopping to find some good deals on vacuums and tea kettles but this year with my own personal Grim Reaper wannabe trying to get ahold of me, I think I am just staying home with Danchou. Speaking of, apparently Danchou gets really fucked up when you give him catnip and I swear it is the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen him do. Like what the fuck, he laid down on his cat bed, paws up and head cocked, before letting out this long meow and letting his mouth hang open. He’s been like that for an hour now. Such a dumbass, haha.

-Levi

 

December 3, 2015

I have officially gone one full month without an accident caused by Bright Eyes and let me tell you, I actually feel good now. Like, I’m not feeling as paranoid as I was a few weeks ago. It’s just…hmmm, it’s weird knowing that you have a private target on your back. That someone powerful and fucking invisible is stalking you, wants _you_ dead. I dunno what shit I’m spewing to be honest but it kind of sounds like what I’m feeling. I guess the past year has been an eye-opener, you know? Like a divine messenger saying, “Oi, shape the fuck up or I’m gonna straighten you out myself.”

But I don’t believe in that stuff so if Bright Eyes ever decides to show his ~~beautiful~~ face around here again, I am going to kick his ass so hard, he will be spitting the leather from by boots. Don’t kill the messenger, my ass.

-Levi

 

December 9, 2015

My streak is over. I am currently in the hospital, feeling like shit while Hanji and Erwin finally just left to go piss and eat. I had a good run of not dying, like a vacation of my full-time occupation but now it’s back to Paranoid DaysTM. As to what happened, well… I got plowed over with a snow plow truck. Ironically enough, it happened while I was checking my own mailbox, hahaaaaa. >:( 

My left arm is in a sling but I think I’ll be okay to write in here. If not, I’ll do that voice memo thing I am pretty sure I mentioned before.

As for Bright Eyes, the damn devil is looking as ~~attractive~~ frustrated as he can get, which I have no idea how to take. He was glaring at me this time instead of that stupidly adorable smirk that usually sits on his face. Maybe he doesn’t like the change of scenery; he was standing in a large pile of snow across my house. I hope his balls froze off.

-Levi

 

December 10, 2015

Ha, I got paid leave for my arm. Guess who isn’t going to deliver last minute Christmas gifts?

-Levi

 

December 18, 2015

Christmas is in a week and I swear, Bright Eyes is really trying hard to kill me before I turn 24. I was about to go down the stairs and he _fucking pushed me!_ This is a first, usually he doesn’t touch me. Which makes my anxiety soar like a goddamn eagle. If he is getting physical ~~and not in that way~~ then I am going to run for the fucking hills. Anyway, I’m fine for the most part. Got some carpet burns from landing on the rug in front of my stairs though. They sting like a bitch. Danchou must have heard me fall cause afterwards he trotted over and nuzzled up next to me. So cute. I should get him a Christmas gift. Maybe a bow or something.

-Levi

 

December 20, 2015

 No attempts by Bright Eyes today. Ha, maybe the dumbass left town, cause I am fucking indestructible. But anyway, so my birthday is in 5 days and I will be 24. Yahoo, I cannot possibly contain my excitement. Although, I guess it won’t be so bad now that I have friends and Danchou. Speaking of, I will be right back; I forgot to take out the trash.

 

December 26, 2015

Fucking Bright Eyes. Remember “I will be right back?” Yeah that clearly did not fucking happen. Instead, when I went out to put the trash in the dumpster, my hand slipped from the rubber lid to the disgusting metal side and BANG! I’m on the ground, my clothes literally smoking. So here I am, burnt and struggling to stand back up (I did so kudos to me but fuck if it didn’t hurt. It was more painful than doing it dry and trust me, **I know** ), and I hear steps coming towards me. I can’t turn my head to look but I try anyway and guess who it is! Fucking Bright Eyes! In all his goddamn white tux glory. I’m not going to lie, I did feel my dick twitch a little bit because he is fucking gorgeous. His hair was blowing a bit because he was walking with purpose and those Caribbean eyes were glowing (I would soon find out it was because he was pissed) and the suit just shows his ass really damn well. Basically, he was dressed to kill…

Get it? Haaaaaa, I’m hilarious.

Anyway, so Bright Eyes comes up to me and glares at me like somehow I shit on his yard. Which, by the way, is revolting and people in Trost are fucking weird cause it happens more than you’d think. But I digress. So I'm still leaning against the damn dumpster wall and trying not to shit my pants because of obvious reasons and pathetically sporting a glare towards the bastard. Then he starts talking and f u c k. His voice was kind of deep, higher pitched than mine but still a low tenor, and so damn smooth. I honestly could listen to it for a looong time. But he asks me, "You are Levi Kenneth Ackerman, right?" I debated answering him and decided to learn more about him first so I answered with another question (What’s it to you, fuckwad?).

Apparently Bright Eyes didn’t like that because next thing I know, he’s closer than before and looking murderous. And then he threatens me by saying if I don’t answer him, he’s gonna kill me right there. I had a good sarcastic answer to that but seeing as I could barely stand even with support, I decided to just give him my name and spare myself the trouble. Then his eyes flair and he literally growls this at me: “Why the fuck are you not dead then? I just hit you with lightning, strong enough to power your house for three days. There is literally no way you could have survived that.” Whatever conscience I had must have been fried because before I knew it, I was already sassing him back. I don’t remember everything I said, but it was along the lines of, “Well it looks like someone fucked up cause I’m still kicking.” I think I told him to fuck off too. Understandably, Bright Eyes seemed to get a little more pissed but then he pauses like someone is talking to him. After his little moment, he gets even closer to me (our noses are almost touch at this point because he is so fucking close) and boxes me in with his arms like this is a shoujo anime or some shit. I can hear my heart racing but if he does, he ignores it to whisper to me that it’s my lucky day and he has to leave. But no, he can’t leave it like that so he gets _even more fucking close, like our noses have touched now,_ and says, “Despite my past attempts, the next time I see you, I **_will_** reap your soul.” Then poof! He leaves and I finally collapse to the ground, shaking so hard my phone can’t even stay in my hand as I call for help.

Which brings me back to now, it’s the day after my birthday and I am in the hospital. Fan-fucking-tastic, right? I have burns all over my right arm, chest, and left leg. Even the doctors said it was amazing that I did not die, that I must be a fighter. I am honestly so fucking annoyed; my life was FINE until Bright Eyes showed up. I want it to go back to that. I want to open another little tea shop, hang out with my cat, and STOP HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT ALMOST DYING FUCKING EVERYWHERE!

Farlon, Isabel, Hanji, and Erwin all visited me on my birthday though, so that was nice. Hanji smuggled Danchou in. The look on the nurse’s face after she saw cat hair everywhere was hilarious. Isabel persisted at her until she agreed to let him stay, thank fuck. I’m already stressed out enough as it is and having Danchou here to sit on my head is actually quite calming.

I also told them all about Bright Eyes. Hanji believes me completely. Farlon and Isabel are starting to because they know how much I kept talking about him back at the shop. Erwin thinks he’s just an illusion my mind came up with. Whatever. I just hope that they don’t pester me for information about him because that shit is going to be embarrassing if they get me talking while I’m on meds. Won’t that sound fucked up: yeah, the guy who is currently been trying to kill me for 7 months I kind of want to fuck.

Oh shit. I just realized, I’m not going to be able to work like this. There goes my mailman job. Fuck.

-Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live off comments and kudos~
> 
> [CHECK OUT THIS AMAZING FANART OF THE DUMPSTER SCENE!!!!!!!](http://kateryna.co.vu/post/150312837305/i-dont-have-a-tablet-anymore-so-have-this)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than usual, my apologies. This is the only chapter this short.

Chapter 3

December 27, 2015

Currently it is 1 AM. Bright Eyes just left after delivering the weirdest fucking piece of news. Buckle your goddamn seatbelts, cause this is one hell of a ride.

Isabel, Hanji, Danchou, Farlon, and Erwin all left around 11 and I myself was getting ready to drift off to sleep. Then, as I shuffle out from the bathroom, clutching my IV pole to walk back like some old person, guess who I see making themselves comfortable on my bed?

Bright Eyes.

But this time, something is different. I could see it in his mannerisms. He looked upset but it wasn’t directed towards me. At this point however, I was sick and tired of seeing this fucking asshat everywhere I goddamn went so naturally, I bitched at him. I didn’t even give the ass a chance to speak, I was releasing every bit of annoyance and anger I harbored about him, to him and GODDAMN IF IT DID NOT FEEL SO GOOD! A few highlights of this spew are:

“You are one giant pain in my ass and trust me, I’ve had all types of pains in my ass.”

“Why the fuck are you even here? Why are you in my life; I sincerely want you to fuck off. Do you need this handwritten? Because I fucking will. I’ll hand-deliver it to your boss too: Dear Bigger Fuckwad, please call this idiot off whatever his goddamn mission is to kill me because it’s a stupid-ass decision and I want to live my life. Signed, Levi Ackerman.”  

“You’re literally worse than the Grinch. THE FUCKING GRINCH.”

“Why are you always wearing that suit like a goddamn altar boy? Grow the fuck up and _change_ for Christ’s sake.”

“GO BE A DILDO TO SOMEONE ELSE. IM TIRED OF THIS SHIT."

Yeah… I was quite upset. And as good as yelling my frustrations was, I felt bad after because the dumbass went and looked like a kicked puppy. I almost apologized. Almost being the key word. Anyway, I got tired of standing so I went and sat down on my bed beside the fucker (I figured if he tried anything, I was already in the hospital so…). Now this is where things get weird.

Bright Eyes sighs and looks at the ceiling before laying down next to me. Then he asks, “Levi, do you ever wonder what happens to souls after their host is dead?” Just the way he phrased the question made me wary but then I actually thought about it. I have my own belief of reincarnation and the recycling of energy through the universe, blah blah blah. Personally, that Heaven shit sounds impossible to me. But I digress; I told Bright Eyes this and he nods slowly. Then he asks me again another question: “How do you think the soul and its energy is moved from point A to point B?” At this point, I’m a little more than confused but I don’t show it, instead pretending to think. The obvious answer ~~(also the one I said)~~ was that I didn’t know. And that’s what gets him talking for the next hour.

Bright Eyes just drones on and on and _on_ about the afterlife and shit but I only caught bits and pieces. According to him, there are celestial beings called Reapers that do the job of helping freshly killed souls move on to wherever they believe. Bright Eyes is apparently one of these beings.

It’s a hard story to take in and truthfully, despite knowing that all the shit he said probably was true since the guy himself practically haunted me in places where humans could not possibly be, I didn’t really believe him at first. I just kept nodding and going along with it, pretending I was 1000% on board. But then he says that there is a list that each Reaper gets and it’s the name and location of their souls to reap. And guess what? My name was on his fucking list. That explains why I’ve had so many near death experiences; Bright Eyes was trying to reap my soul. Luckily for myself, I’m one stubborn fuck. You can’t kill and Ackerman easily.

First off, the fact that there even is a list is pretty strange. The fact that Reapers are so casual with this list is frightening. Bright Eyes told me that my name got put on his list by fault of a typo.

A _goddamn **typo.**_ But here’s the kicker, next thing I know, Bright Eyes tells me that my name has been removed and I shouldn’t have another accident. I started crying. All the stress, the paranoia, the weird fucking mundane jobs, the strict tame outfits I’ve taken to wearing (T-shirt and jeans E V E R Y D A Y)… I don’t have to do it anymore. I’m free. Fuck, even now I’m getting choked up again but the relief is so…I don’t know how to explain it other than like the weight of the fucking sky has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel like getting really fucking drunk after I’m released to forget the entire past 7 months.

There is literally no downside to this other than I don’t get to see Bright Eyes anymore. That’s okay though, I’ll probably forget about him soon. Really gonna miss that ass though…and his eyes…and that everything. Damn, I might actually miss him, if only for his appearance. There are pros and cons to this I guess.

Pro: I get to live carefree again. Con: no more Bright Eyes.

The pros outweigh the cons here.

-Levi

 

December 31, 2015

I don’t believe a word of what Bright Eyes told me. Literally the same night, **_the same fucking night,_** I fell into a coma that Doc says I just survived by like the scrape of my teeth. THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF BEING DONE WITH THIS SHIT.

-Levi

 

January 1, 2016

Bright Eyes better get his ass here so I can bitch at him again.

-Levi

 

January 4, 2016

Fucking coward is hiding from me. Good. I don’t care how hot he is, if he shows up again, I’m going to castrate him.

-Levi.

 

January 5, 2016

Oh yeah, Happy New Year. Hopefully 2016 is a calm year. I can’t handle any more pointless drama. By the way, I got discharged. I bought that lot I said looked good for my tea shop. Titan’s Tea is coming to Trost, bitches.

-Levi

 

January 7, 2016

I fell down my stairs again. I think I saw someone but it wasn’t Bright Eyes; it was some girl. I have a concussion but Doc says it isn’t that bad. Hanji came to pick me up from the hospital and joked that I’m in there enough that I should get a free gift card or something. If the card was for Chipotle I wouldn’t mind. I haven’t been since I left New York and I really want some. There is a Chili’s nearby but it isn’t the same.

Farlon and Isabel are supposed to come down in a few weeks with some of the shop things I left in storage. I forgot how exciting it is to start your own business.

-Levi

 

January 10, 2016

Bright Eyes finally grew a pair and showed up to talk to me. He seemed a little timid and for good fucking reason. I’m pissed the fuck off because I’m still almost dying. I literally cried because I thought I was over that shit. Anyway, I brought that up and the bastard just rubs the back of his neck like nothing is really wrong as he tells me “So your life is still kind of at risk but it shouldn’t be as frequent or intentional on my part.” Well hip hop hooray, I’m saved right?

Fuck no. I don’t trust his word. So I did what I do best; I exploited his services. It wasn’t that hard; he’s very easy to guilt-trip. I basically demanded that since he caused all this, he should have to protect me from these other threats. He didn’t like the idea but he still agreed so ha. ~~I get to stare at that ass longer now.~~

There is a downside though. To make sure I’m okay, he’s going to have to live with me. Ugh. I managed to get his name though; it’s Eren. I’m kind of going to miss calling him Bright Eyes. Wait, I’ll just make it a nickname.

-Levi

 

January 15, 2016

I am exhausted; setting up Titan’s Tea is so draining. At least this time I’m not alone though. Erwin and Hanji stopped by to help for a few hours before I sent them out to advertise. I had Eren fill in their place after they left. He’s not bad when it comes to following directions. I thought he was going to complain and shit but he’s been surprisingly obedient. Maybe he feels guilty for causing such terror to my life? I shrug; it’s not my problem.

But there’s still something about him that’s weird. I can’t figure it out but, he’s different. It’s like he’s hiding something when I bring up stuff. I’m going to get to the bottom of this. He better not be pulling some shit like jacking his meat in my bathroom. I found Farlon doing that once; it was horrifying for the both of us.

-Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live off comments and kudos~


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

January 24, 2016

Eren is fucking weird but then I remember, “Right, he’s not fucking human.” Living with him gives me full access to that. He doesn’t even talk to me; he just…lingers. And it’s seriously pissing me off.

-Levi

 

January 31, 2016

Danchou has been spending a shitton of time with Eren and I don’t like that. I'm the human who ~~adores~~ tolerates it, therefore I get the love. Only me.

Eren really needs to work on not _hovering over me like a goddamn drone._ I swear to fuck’s sake, if he can monitor me from outside the bathroom when I’m taking my morning shit, he can watch me from across the goddamn room. It’s so frustrating; I feel like I’m being scrutinized for everything I do. Maybe if he actually talked to me regularly, I would be able to somewhat accept the blatant staring but since he says nothing to me, it’s just annoying as fuck.

-Levi

 

February 2, 2016

So apparently its Groundhog’s Day in PA and these people take their groundhog predictions seriously. Like, I saw someone get into a fistfight because they said the New Jersey groundhog was better. I still consider moving back to New York because of shit like this but then I’m so invested in Titan’s Tea 2.0 that I can’t go through the moving process again. Maybe someday though; I miss my old place. Having a house is just tiring; there’s more shit to clean up.

It’s almost been a month since Eren practically moved in with me. He still doesn’t say much to me so I’m going to stage an intervention. Danchou, the little traitor, will not be in the room for this either to take his attention away. It’s time for me to lay down some laws: 1) he needs to talk with me and try to make this situation as normal as can be, ~~2)~~ Okay, I can’t think of another point but the first one is going to be heavily enforced.

-Levi

 

February 9, 2016

The intervention worked. I also think I may get another cat…

-Levi

 

February 13, 2016

Eren is still rather quiet but things are getting better. During dinner, he told me he hates Italian food after I already cooked and served pasta for the both of us. I did feel insulted but its better than his silence. He still seems hesitant to talk to me; almost like he’s not supposed to or something. He’ s more than content to talk to Danchou though. I’ve seen them together, laughing and playing and having a grand time without me. See an insult about my cooking I can take, making MY precious cat love him more is unacceptable. I feel like Spongebob in that one episode where Gary likes Patrick more than Spongebob. (Don’t judge me, that show was actually hilarious) The only difference is that instead of a cookie to bribe Gary, Eren is using his personality and cute face.

I stopped by the animal shelter today and I spotted this cute little black kitten. She seems feisty but I think it makes her look even cuter since she’s like the size of my palm. I need to budget properly before I get her because of my shitty salary (did I tell you I got a new job as a busboy?) but I’ m actually a little excited. I think I’d name her Heichou if I do get her. Heichou and DAnchou; that’s cute. Maybe give her a little bowtie if she likes it.

-Levi

 

February 19, 2016

It seems like Eren is just making himself right at fucking home now that he’s gotten over that nervous spell. Now he’s insulted my shitty fashion sense. It’s not my fault that I had to downgrade to try and stay average as fuck when he was hunting me down like I was a fucking pig marked for death. The entitled asshole. He’s the one who wears the same goddamn suit every goddamn day-

Wait. I have never seen Eren do his laundry now that I think about it. Or shower. Fuck, that is disgusting I have to ask him about this. I do not want his smelly ass anywhere near me if he really hasn’t showered in a month. I don’t care if he exists on another plane of existence; nothing that lives in _my house_ is going to be dirty. Hell, I bathe Danchou every week and he’s a cat. I am thoroughly disgusted right now. I need to sterilize my entire house now. Even when he’s living with me, Bright Eyes is still a pain in my ass.

-Levi

 

February 20, 2016

Update: Eren doesn’t shower or change his clothes. Ever. He doesn’t understand what the concept of human hygiene is. Please excuse me while I go throw up everything I’ve ever eaten.

-Levi

 

February 24, 2016

Why? I have done nothing wrong to deserve this. I had a good intention of just taking Eren out to go buy some new clothes. The fucker has practically drained me of any money I may have had with his need of having literally only the most expensive shit in the store. I’m going to have to pick up another job for a little bit until I can open Titan’s Tea to pay these bills. As if the clothes weren’t enough, now that Eren knows what a shower is, he takes them twice a day (which is fine with me) but for an hour each. There goes my fucking water bill.

-Levi

 

February 27, 2016

I bitched at Eren about the bill. He smirked and winked at me before walking away, Danchou at his feet. What the fuck?

-Levi

 

March 3, 2016

I bought Heichou. Finally, something in this house will have my back again.

-Levi

 

March 6, 2016

Okay, Eren needs to stop smirking at me. It’s so fucking unsettling. He looks at me like I’m a meal to eat or something, not to mention its even creepier with his mouth full of literal canines? I don't know how i didn't notice before. What the _fuck?_ Speaking of, guess what I’m ordering tonight? Olive Garden. That fucker can eat a pistachio shell for all I care.

-Levi

 

March 9, 2016

Did I tell you about my new job? I hate it. Eren hates it. Even Heichou hates it. I think I am going to quit soon; I have enough money to open Titan’s Tea 2.0 and live pretty stable if the business tanks for at least two months. I don’t understand why some people just HAVE to get their milk delivered like this is the 1800s or some shit. Milkmen have it tough.

-Levi

 

March 15, 2016

Titan’s Tea opens tomorrow! Eren agreed to actually stay in this plane of existence to help me with customers. I forget sometimes that Eren’s a Reaper and technically lives in invisibility. I can see him all the time, regardless what plane he’s on because he’s constantly preventing my death but for other people, I guess it’d be weird to see a bunch of tea mugs washing themselves. This isn’t some Harry Potter shit.

-Levi

 

March 16, 2016

The shop’s debut went really fucking well! A shitton of people came by and they all love my tea. (no one asked for coffee for once) It was fine until Hanji and Erwin showed up. Literally as soon as they came, Hanji had this glint in her once she spotted Eren and you can imagine what she did next.

“Levi! When did you meet this cutie? What’s his name? Why haven’t we seen him around? Are you with him? You should be with him! Hell, I might get with him!”

Understandably, I did not tell her we’re roommates. I also told her to buy something or get the fuck out of my shop. Erwin was worse though. He said: "I didn’t know you had another friend Levi. He is quite beautiful.”

I got mad at that one. I didn’t like the way he said that. I know Eren is attractive, but he’s mine so hands off.

-Levi

 

March 20, 2016

Rereading this journal is funny. Each entry is more paranoid than the last and my reactions to shit is hilarious. Maybe I should publish this down the line. But I don’t know why I wrote that Eren’s mine in the last one. He’s not. I think he’s hot with a perfect ass but we are not together. He just lives with me. And saves my life usually daily. That’s all. Don’t get any ideas like Hanji.

-Levi

 

March 25, 2016

Eren has been busting my chops. He made me spend a shitton of money on fancy-ass clothes and now he’s not even wearing them. He needs to put a shirt on. I don’t want to see this tall ass guy with a practically chiseled body laying on my couch just to show his soft and cuddly side with my cat. Frankly, it’s ~~hot~~ annoying as fuck.

Speaking of my cats, Danchou, now nicknamed Little Shit, regards me like chopped liver while Heichou, nicknamed Little Angel, sees me as God. She is the cutest little kitten I’ve ever seen. She's bigger than my hand now but only by a little bit. She also has taken to sitting on my shoulder and nipping at my earlobe. Something tells me that she's going to grow up to be a loyal cat, one that doesn’t turn her back on me as easily as turning the calendar.

-Levi

 

March 29, 2016

So Eren usually stares at me to make sure I’m safe and crap but today at the shop he was working with me as an employee and started sputtering gibberish when I went to reach over a kettle to grab some tea leaves. I froze and looked at him to see what the fuck got into him and then pop! the lid of the kettle I was about to reach over explodes up so forcefully that it bangs the ceiling before falling. If he didn’t start spouting that shit, I’d probably be in the hospital for a broken arm. In a way, the thought was cute but also, what the fuck? Why didn’t he just say my name? Just because he’s a Reaper doesn’t mean he’s smart.

-Levi

 

April 1, 2016

Eren REALLY needs to fucking stop. I can’t handle him anymore. For a while I thought if I acknowledged his fucking gorgeous body long enough, I’d just grow accustomed to it and its hotness level would decrease. But he just has to keep showing it off.

The fam came over for some games, by fam I mean Isabel, Farlon, Hanji, and Erwin, and Isabel decides to play strip poker. It was literally all fun and games until Eren starts having to stripe beside me and fuuuuuck. His abs? Normal, I’m used to them because he literally does not wear shirts anymore. His back? Getting to normal; there are some scars that look really fucking hot. His legs? I hadn’t seen till now and holy shit are they toned. His fucking calves were bulging and his thighs… To describe them in one word; delicious. And his ass, fuck, it's even better in his boxers.

I’m lucky I didn’t have to take off my sweatpants because I got half-hard.

Also, April Fools. None of that happened today.

 

It happened on Wednesday.

-Levi

 

April 5, 2016

I took a nap after working at the shop and when I woke up Eren cooked for us. He made Italian. I wish I could say that it was average. But I can’t.

It was the best goddamn Italian food I had since I was a kid. As of now, Eren is officially the house cook.

-Levi

 

April 11, 2016

Wow, it’s been over 5 days since I wrote in here. For the record, nothing interesting has happened.

-Levi

 

April 12, 2016

Today was interesting. Usually when I go out, Eren is beside me and invisible to everyone else as he saves my ever threatened life. But today, I was walking and stopped to look at this vacuum I saw in a store window but apparently he didn’t notice that and kept going. All of a sudden, there is this truck that’s rearing the corner at like 50 mph and the breaks are squealing but its fucking obvious it’s not going to stop before it hits the wall where I am so conveniently standing. I won’t lie, I screamed for Eren and I then I felt these thick arms ensnare me and pull me the fuck outta there before the truck can succeed in smashing my skull against the fucking wall.

When I opened my eyes, Eren was hugging me so tight I couldn’t even try to wiggle out of his grip. Naturally, there was a small crowd that gathered and started calling for help and shit but I was focusing on Eren. He seemed really frazzled. Then I realized that holy shit, I can feel Eren (something that only happens when he’s on the human plane and everyone can see him). I was going to scold him a little for just suddenly appearing like that but before I could even say anything, he holds me by the arms and looks into my eyes. His own were shining again so I figured he was really upset at something. Then he says, “Don’t you ever fucking do that to me again! We have to stay together for this to work and you _can_ _’_ _t_ just fucking stop wherever you damn well please. I almost left the block when I heard your scream and realized you weren’t there. Goddamn it, Levi!” He even shed a few tears as he said that.

I was then and still am kind of floored. I mean, I thought he was doing this job of keeping me alive because he had to. Now I’m not too sure.

-Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter's the last! I do hope that you've liked this little story of mine so far. Also, [CHECK OUT THIS FANART!!!!!!!!!!!](http://bluecrownedbird.tumblr.com/post/149755161959/my-second-drawing-for-the-snk-mini-bang-2016)  
> I live off comments and kudos~


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad this ficlet was so well received!!! Thank you all so much!!! Also, I'll have links to all the fanart done in the end notes. Go check them out!!!!!!

Chapter 5

April 15, 2016

PA weather is strange as fuck. This entire goddamn week is going to drop back to the twenties. I don’t mind the cold usually but even now it’s getting to the point where I want some goddamn warmth. Eren, on the other hand, hates the cold. He’s a summer type of person. Go figure.

-Levi

 

April 18, 2016

The heater isn’t working. Fuck my life. Now the house is absolutely freezing.

-Levi

 

April 20, 2016

So last night I went into Eren’s room because I was cold and the bastard took all my spare blankets. I was just going to take a blanket off him and go back to my bed but then he rolls in his sleep and in the process, drags me onto his bed. His arms are so _thick_ and gentle that they kept me in place and I couldn’t move an inch. I fell asleep like that, tucked under his arm.

When I woke up, I was turned into Eren and my forehead was against his chest (which was bare and toned) right under his chin. I think I liked that? I wasn’t pissed or annoyed at all, which is rare when it comes to this guy.  Maybe it’ll be too cold again tonight. Hell if I know.

-Levi

 

April 21, 2016

I slept with Eren again last night and not in that way ~~(even though I wouldn’t be opposed to that either).~~ I had to wait until the shithead fell asleep so he wouldn’t tease me.

-Levi

 

April 26, 2016

Hanji is throwing a formal for his boyfriend’s birthday next week. He demands that I bring Eren and that we dress up. That’s not going to be a challenge for Mr. Prada but as for me, I don’t remember the last time I wore a suit. Looks like I’m going back to the days of button ups and slacks.

-Levi

 

April 30, 2016

Eren fixed the heater. Not going to lie, I’m feeling a little bummed. I guess I really did like sleeping next to him. Maybe he didn’t like it? But he never said anything. Did I fuck things up? Shit.

-Levi

 

May 2, 2016

Okay, so Eren hasn’t acted differently towards me? It’s been the same between us? Maybe I haven’t fucked up? I don’t understand this. I always feel a little nauseous around him and I hyper-analyze all my actions and even my shit jokes become actually shitty. What the fuck is this? Is this pneumonia? Oh god, am I dying by illness now? WHAT the FUCK?

-Levi

 

May 3, 2016

Tonight is Hanji’s boyfriend’s (his name is Moblit) birthday thing. Just a minute ago, I was ironing my shirt on the kitchen table so I could watch the news and Eren comes in fully prepared. I almost burned my shirt once I saw him. He slicked his hair back.

_He slicked it back._

Eren is not allowed to do that. Ever. He’s too fucking hot like that. My body is already acting weird, I don’t want to jump his dick because I couldn’t take the sex appeal fucking _dripping_ off him. Also, he’s in a white button down with a vest over that (which cost me over $200) and he fucking rolled up his sleeves. Those forearms. _The forearms are delectable._ And there goes my dick. I have to jack off before I leave, no amount of cold showers is going to get the image of that sinful man out of my head.

-Levi

 

May 4, 2016

I think I figured it out. I have feelings for Eren and I don’t know how to handle this.

Fuck.

-Levi

 

May 5, 2016

Help me. I don’t know what I’m doing. I haven’t been in a relationship since like high school. How does one flirt?

-Levi

 

May 7, 2016

I have figured it out. I’m just going to go for it headstrong the way I normally do things instead of beating around the bush. I’m not some blushing virgin. If I want a man, I fucking go for him.

Tomorrow. I’ll get to him tomorrow.

-Levi

 

May 8, 2016

Yeah, so nothing fucking happened.

-Levi

 

May 10, 2016

So, I offered to help cook today and Eren laughed at me. :/ I’m not that bad in the kitchen. I fended for myself pretty well, goddammit. Besides, I just wanted to help him cook a bit in the kitchen. Like cut an onion or something, I don’t know… whatever, I guess I’ll just have to stick with washing dishes.

-Levi

 

May 15, 2016

Did you know that Eren looks cute as fuck in T-shirts and shorts? Because he really does. It’s almost nice that I finally get to see him in regular clothing. Almost. I still paid for all the expensive shit that’s just hanging in his closet. If only my wallet could kill…

-Levi

 

May 17, 2016

What’s the best way to get someone to know you like them? Well according to Levi’s State of the Art Fucking Stupid List of Ideas, you go and be as blatantly obvious about it as you can.

As I bet you can assume, I went up to Eren today and pretty much sprawled on his legs while he was watching some TV show. He didn’t really notice and I didn’t say anything as I did it. Pretty soon after he started to stroke my hair and run his gentle fingers through my hair and massaged my scalp a bit. At first, I didn’t like it, but fucking _damn!_ he has the fingers of a GOD! I nearly fell asleep, at least until Heichou scampered around the couch and onto my stomach with Danchou following right behind her.

I’m glad that Danchou's brief phase of favor has been declining. Before he’d only follow Eren and do what Eren wanted but since Eren doesn’t give him as much attention as I gave him, he’s been slowly but surely returning to me. It’s too late, though. I feel betrayed. He's going to have to learn that he can’t toy with me like that; I’ll deprive him our daily cuddle session for a few weeks, regardless how many times he meows and rubs at my legs.

-Levi

 

May 18, 2016

I slept in Eren’s bed again last night.  But this time, I didn’t wait until he was asleep. He just smiled and moved over. This man is perfect. He cooks for me, cuddles with me, my cats fucking love him, hell, I fucking love him-

 

Wait, maybe not love. Not yet. But maybe? Fuck, I don’t know but I want him to stay with me for a long time.

-Levi

 

May 20, 2016

I just realized that I cannot remember the last time I had an accident. Fucking bless.

-Levi

 

May 21, 2016

THE FUCKING WORLD HATES ME!!!! Why can’t I go on a walk? I wanted to go for a goddamn walk and Eren was taking a nap after working all day at the shop with me, (by the way, it's doing really damn well and I quit my other shitty jobs) so I slipped out the door and let him sleep. AND THEN LITERALLY THE MOMENT I REACHED MY MAILBOX ITS LIKE WHATEVER BUBBLE I WAS IN FOR THE PAST FUCKING MONTHS JUST POPS. If pigs were flying I would not fucking be surprised.

First, a bird fucking shits all over my black hoodie so it's visible as fuck. Then, the wind picks up all of a sudden and rain starts pelting my skin. Mind you, the sun was bluer than a baby boy’s room so this storm is out of fucking nowhere. Then (if it was fucking possible) the rain AND wind pick up and my skin is literally turning red from the force.

I, being the reasonable and intelligent person I am, fucking bolt for my side door before shit happens. But of course I step on a storm drain while I’m turning and the fucking piece of shit gives way and I swear my stomach and heart were one organ trying to cram their way out my throat as fast as fucking possible. I feel like I screamed but I can’t be sure.

What I CAN be sure of is the fact that out of fucking nowhere, Eren grabs my arm before I fall too far down in the drain and hauls my sorry ass up onto the grass before literally storming away towards the backyard. (like the rain and wind and clouds and shit follow him) Then there are these loud rolls of thunder and one lightning strike, then the whole fucking thing disappears like nothing ever happened. By this point, my heart and stomach have successfully separated and I can feel my breathing slow from hyperventilating to deep breaths.

Then Eren came back and _scolded me for not waking him._ Sorry for being a fucking gentleman. I’m not too mad to be honest because if I were him, I’d be just as upset and if not more.

On the Brightside of all of this, Eren held me for a good twenty minutes after everything calmed down and went inside. Still a frightening as fuck moment though.

-Levi

 

May 25, 2016

Eren has been acting moodier and recklessly lately. I wonder what’s wrong; he’s usually not this tense. Was it my fault? Did I do something? I just want him to feel better but I don’t know what he’d like….. Flowers? Donuts? Wtf??????????????

-Levi

 

May 30, 2016

Okay, now I am seriously worried. Eren would have let whatever was bothering him go _days_ ago but whatever it is an ongoing struggle. Is it me? Did I offend him or something when I tried to go out without him? I can't take this fucking dilly-dallying around the damn issue. I'm just going to talk to him. 

-Levi 

 

May 31, 2016 

Well...

I talked to him. 

 

 

He had a lot to say. And it's all my fault. 

-Levi 

 

June 2, 2016 

So it's been two days since Eren's bombshell and I still can't accept it completely but I think I can write about it. 

Firstly, he's not mad at me. He was worried about me when he woke up to my scream and  _then_  mad because I almost got killed. 

Secondly, the bitch I saw was his friend? Apparently, another reaper got assigned to me by accident? Once again, I'll wear whoever fucked up that stupid list  _like a fucking boot_  if they keep me marked for death.  

Third and most painful...I think...I think Eren wants to leave... 

Fuck, I can't. 

-Levi 

 

June 4, 2016 

I can't bring myself to be around Eren. I just want to hold him and have him hold me and cuddle with Danchou the fucking traitor and Heichou the angel. I just...I really don't want him to leave. Who's going to help me run the tea shop? Who's going to make sure I'm safe? I don't want anyone else. I want him; I want Eren. I want him to stay right here in this shitty little town called Trost, in my shitty little townhouse with my two little cats. 

And I know you don't get any of this because I didn't fucking write down what happened but I'll just get it out now. 

So Eren told me that he wants/needs to go and reap souls because his spiritual energy is running low and he needs to recharge. Obviously protecting me all the time has put a strain on him...and so, I understand why he needs to go but...

Fuck, my chest and throat are tightening up and my eyes are burning. I hate this. I hate not being able to fucking express myself when I need to. I hate how I can't tell the asshole that he's more beautiful than the fucking stars in the night sky. Kinder than my own damn mother, smarter than anyone I've met, funnier than myself, the funniest person I know. He brews tea better than I can even though I never tell him that. He is a fucking gifted chef. His sense of style is better than Erwin's even though it continues to drain my wallet. He's better than everyone in every single category to me and I want someone like that with me.

I can't tell him that I like when we cuddle. Or that I like when he runs his hand through my hair casually like we've got all the time in the world. Or that I love sharing beds and waking up in his arms. That I like just being with him, even if it's watching him cook or play with Danchou. And I'm even more frustrated that I can't tell him what I need to the most: that I think he's wonderful and I'm falling in love with him pretty damn fast. 

-Levi 

 

June 6, 2016

Eren said he's going to start reaping in a few days. 

I'm going to make the most of our time before he goes. 

Also, I only have 3 pages left in here. I'll have to skip some things. 

-Levi 

 

June 10, 2016 

Tomorrow's Eren's last day. I have to tell him tomorrow or else I'll regret this for the rest of my life. 

-Levi 

 

June 11, 2016 

So...I told him. And, well... Let me start from the beginning. 

So Eren made a really nice breakfast for us but for the most part, it was pretty quiet. I was going to tell him then but I couldn't get the words out so I didn't. Then after we cleaned up, we got ready and headed to the shop to work. 

Working was fine for the most part. My customers really like Eren's excited personality compared to mine. He seemed to be extra charming today like he was making an impression. In hindsight, the bastard was probably trying to get my attention. He succeeded. 

We closed up early because the customer flow was pretty slow and that's when everything happened. I remember it all word for word. 

It was warm enough that neither of us needed a jacket but Eren insisted on bringing his fancy ass vest anyway. So he put that on and headed towards the door while I finished turning up the chairs. Then he looked at me and said, "Are you almost done? I should really get to reaping before I lose any more energy?" 

Then I looked at him and his damn eyes were so big and soft and I knew then that if I had anything to tell him, it absolutely  _had_ to be then. So I said, "Do you have to go?" 

Then he raised an eyebrow and asked, "What do you mean?" 

And I kind of spit it out: "I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay with me." 

At this, Eren STILL had his brow furrowed like he didn't understand and he asked me, "What do you mean, Levi?" 

Now I'm trying not to back out of everything but he's so fucking dense it's hard to explain without saying everything. So instead, I said this, "You know what I mean. You can't leave, um, Danchou." Then he smiles and asks me why and I oh so gracefully reply, "He likes you a lot and he'll really miss you." 

"Really, now?" He fucking smirked.

“Yeah. Besides, I like having you around and cooking for me.”

“So you only like me for my cooking skills?” The fucking prick was grinning at that.

“No. Just… think about Danchou. Now that he’s had you in his life, I don’t think that he can forget you and he won’t know what to do with himself without you there…” Then, Eren full-blown smiles and the fucking sun breaks through the clouds. He started walking to me then and he grasped my hands gently.

“And what about the fact that I tried to kill Danchou’s owner for nearly 8 months?” the little shit brought up as he pressed his forehead against mine.

I couldn’t let him get away with that so I retorted, “7 but who’s counting?” I could only really catch Eren’s smile before I felt one of his hands leave mine and slip behind my neck to pull me closer. Then, his lips were on mine and I’ve never felt so many things at once. First, it was kind of cold then it was like his lips were fire hot and burning my own. Then it felt as if I was struck by lightning (again) and electricity was tingling through my flesh each time our lips slotted together. They were slightly chapped and sandpapery, typical Eren, but it felt so _right._

I wasn’t sure how long we were like that but by the time we parted, I felt a little dizzy. Then, Eren chuckles until it grows to a full laugh in which tears are beading up at the corners of his eyes and meanwhile, I’m standing there like a fucking idiot not knowing what the hell just happened. Then Eren starts explaining; “I was never going to _leave_ you, stupid. I can reap souls from your side, where I’ll always be. Or at least, from _Danchou’s_ side,” he said. I felt so stupid and annoyed after hearing that. I mean, he literally never hinted that he was leaving or anything to me. I was just overanalyzing his actions because I was acting like a lovesick teenager. Gross.

Eren is such a little shit. So I called him that. More specifically, a “damn asshole.”

Then Eren goes, “But I’m _your_ asshole.” And I just stood there watching him until he realized his mistake. Then he tried to fix what he said: “Wait that came out wrong..”

I didn’t care though. I just pulled him down again and muttered: “You’re truly the romantic” before I kissed him again, this time even better than the first.

\---

After that, we just lounged around the townhouse together doing various things in various positions in various places and it was fucking awesome. I suppose since this is the last page of this journal I should tell you that there is another journal I bought to write in but, to be frank, I don’t think I’ll need one anymore. Not with Eren around, at least. So, I guess this is goodbye. Thanks for listening to my shitty life story. Though I guess it really hasn’t been that shitty since Eren came into my life. Thanks, Bright Eyes.

Adios amigos.

-Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [CHECK OUT THIS AMAZING FANART OF THE DUMPSTER SCENE!!!!!!!](http://hana-tox.tumblr.com/post/150312837305/i-dont-have-a-tablet-anymore-so-have-this)
> 
>  
> 
> [CHECK OUT THIS AWESOME FANART OF DANCHOU AND EREN!!!!!!!!!!!](http://bluecrownedbird.tumblr.com/post/149755161959/my-second-drawing-for-the-snk-mini-bang-2016)  
> I live off comments and kudos~ Feel free to check out my other works!


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